Leave me Breastless is a Blog dedicated to helping all those brave women out there having gone through breast cancer, look and feel fantastic with their new chest.
I was a 35 year old mother of 2 young children when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer. Just 2 weeks after my initial diagnosis, I had a mastectomy of my right breast. Then 6 months later I decided to have a preventative mastectomy of my left breast to rule out any possibility of breast cancer recurring and for my own personal comfort. I have chosen not to have a breast reconstruction – a choice I know is deeply personal for all women.
If you have chosen to stay breast free or with one breast, I am passionate about helping you find clothes and a style that make you feel great about yourself! My passion for this comes from an empty place I found myself in post surgery. Not only was I still dealing with the very recent reality that I had cancer, it dawned on me that life had also changed in many other ways. There was certainly part of me that was feeling a loss of femininity, but I also found myself completely and utterly lost when I needed to get dressed. With one breast or none, I really felt my options were limited. It was so frustrating for me – as someone who always cared about looking nice in clothes – that I couldn’t find anything to wear!
I started to search for websites like this, but I couldn’t find a thing. The only mastectomy fashion that I could find were sites that were either directed to more mature ladies or which showed the prostheses always being worn and no other option. I knew personally that these would make me feel frumpy and unattractive. I wanted to be able to have options at all the mainstream shops – I just didn’t know how to do that yet.
So as I slowly recovered and the reality sunk in that my body had changed forever, I knew that this was also going to affect the way I dress forever. I thought “No, I’m never going to be able to wear a V neck again” and “strapless is no longer going to be an option”.
But guess what? I would never have to wear a bra again and I am now one of the few people who can successfully pull off a backless number!! I realised that it was the same as any other body changing life experience – like the changes that happen when having a baby or gaining or losing a lot of weight. You just have to adjust your thinking and your choices and find a solution to the problem, not wallow in self pity.
So here I am 3 years on. I like to think that now I have the hang of dressing for a flat chest with the options of putting in my prosthesis when I feel like it. I don’t profess to know everything and still find myself from time to time nearly in tears in a change room with 10 unsuccessful items around me that I thought might be okay. I am still learning and finding my way and just as each person’s body and personal experience with losing their chest will be different, so too will your journey to find new fashion. All I know is that I know more of the do’s and don’ts than I did at the start of my journey.
This Blog is so meaningful to me because it mattered to me when I lost my chest and it matters to every woman who has and will go through it. I want to make your life easier transitioning from breast to no breasts. And I want you to know that I, and hundreds of women around the world, know and understand what you’re going through just trying to get dressed in the morning. I want to be there to help and support you every step of the way of finding the new, fabulous, feminine, you!
Leave Me Breastless 
Superb, Genevieve. I’m certain many women will gain valuable support & ideas from your blog. Love it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Gen this is just so beyond awesome. I’m completely in awe of you and your beautiful courage and generosity of spirit. I’ve got a feeling this is going to be a wildly success blog that helps so many women 🙂 xxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi, I was diagnosed in my 30’s with breast cancer 7yrs ago. I’m also breastless!! I chose not to have reconstruction as well. I look forward to seeing what your all about.💓Love Alison.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Alison, Welcome to the leavemebreastless family! I hope you are well and cancer free. In the future I hope to create a way for us breastless women to share tips and some of the fantastic styles that we find along the way so please stay in touch. Take care, Genevieve
LikeLike
I’m a guy who faced something of a similar decision after cancer and a bilateral orchiectomy. I ultimately decided that I’d forego prosthetic testicles. Given that breasts are far more noticeable than testicles I can imagine that going breastless takes far more bravery than going ball-less. So, kudos on your impressive decision and bravery from a guy with an empty sack that no one could possibly notice.
LikeLike
Hi Gen. I am 43 years young – mum of two, aged six and seven. I am three weeks post double mastectomy. At the moment prosthesis don’t appeal to me (although I completely accept that may change). A thoughtful friend sent me your link. Great job creating this blog. With so many young women diagnosed each year, there is a huge audience for your voice. Maybe you could use pics that women send you showing styles that work (detailing where they purchased). Most of the sites I have visited are either overseas, or featuring old daggy women. Most exciting for me atm is I can finally wear off the shoulder fashion (previously a D cup so bra less was never an option 😜). Look forward to future posts. Tamra
LikeLiked by 1 person
Tamra, I can complete relate with everything you are saying. I remember that time post mastectomy and how difficult it was to dress. Even if this is only temporary for you, I hope that this website can help you find some clothes to make you feel beautiful. I definitely want to add a section where women can share their finds so stay tuned, I would love you to contribute. Take care in your post surgery recovery and if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask. Genevieve
LikeLike
6 years post mastectomy and most days I don’t even think about my lack of breasts. What I have learnt is that most people don’t even notice. The girls at my gym where shocked when I told them my story after training with them and wearing normal gym clothes for more than a year. It made me realise that people notice less than I thought. I know it’s initially hard to reconcile your image of your body with the reality but it does get easier. Living breast free is as legitimate a choice as a reconstruction and you should be proud of your decision. Thanks for the great blog, Naideen
LikeLiked by 1 person
Naideen, thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. I agree about people not noticing as much as we think they do. I look forward to hearing more from you and hope to create an area on the website for women to share some clothing pictures. I would love you be a part of that. Take care of yourself, Genevieve
LikeLike
Thanks Genevieve. Bought this today … check out
https://www.witchery.com.au/shop/woman/clothing/dresses/60204058/Ruffle-Print-Dress.html
LikeLike
That is so awesome. Great minds think alike as that dress is on my wishlist…must go and get so we can be twins. Would love for you to post a dress of you wearing it!
LikeLike
Hi Genevieve. How do I attach a pic to a post?
LikeLike
Awesome send me the image for now at contact@leavemebreastless.com and I’ll post a link to it here! Still working out images in comments.
LikeLike
Thank you ❤
LikeLike
I have been breastless for 4 years. Never regretted my decision not to have a reconstruction. I also have never worn a prosthesis. Most people wouldnt even know that I had no boobs. I have changed some of my clothes but still manage to wear a lot of pre-surgery things. Although I have discovered that I have quite a prominent ribcage!!!.My biggest issue has been trying to find a “bra” to wear under sundresses or lower cut tops. Crop tops are too bulky and those “boob tube” things just fall down. Any suggestions?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Pauline, great to hear you are as happy as me not to reconstruct. It is true that people hardly know you have no boobs but it is usually down to the fact that you must dress very well to cater for it so good on you!! I totally know what you mean about the ribcage!
I can relate to the trouble you mean about finding what to wear under sundresses or lower cut tops. The bandeaus definitely don’t stay up but their benefit is that they cover the scars. I actually do wear crop tops and don’t find them too bulky but I think it might depend which one you get and how they are cut. If it’s just a short crop, I have a Pammy crop from lorna jane that works well and a similar cheaper one from cotton on body. I try to go for ones with thinner material and sometimes put the soft pads from hospital in to make it look outward not inward.
In winter, I wear a full length tight singlet (bonds brand i think (which has boob spot) I find that works really well for me with those soft pads too
I hope I am explaining that ok?
You have totally given me an incentive to go on the search for something that is perfect for us. I think the reason I wear all those ones with the pads in is because they have the boob section in them but we need to find something without that that will work.
I will see what I can find.
Would love you to share with me anything you find that could help other women.
Thanks again for touching base Pauline. Glad you are well.
Gen
LikeLike
Hi All . Ally Fashion currently have a really soft crop top in basic colours that is a nice stretchy soft (almost shiny) fabric. It doesn’t have the darts (needed for breasts), so it should work okay. I didn’t try one on, but intended on going back to get one once my radiation burns are gone 🙂 Also, have bought a pretty lingerie style soft lacy crop top in the teenager section of David Jones Bra Dpt. Happy shopping, Tamra 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think this is a great sight. I had no support 20 years ago. I first had cancer & then again a second lot 9 years ago .had a double mastectomy. I choose not to have reconstruction & do not ware anything. I decided I wanted to stay flat. Sometimes I think people think you are a bit strange but the way I feel everyone should be able to be who they want to be. I am just so thankful I have got to the age of 67 & have 5 wonderful Grandchildren. I had no idea this sight was here till I heard you talking on the radio this morning.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi.
You are amazing. Having had a perm colostomy 6.5 years ago at age 36. I wish I could of found someone so inspiring as you are to help me find myself again esp with clothes. I have been toying with the idea of helping others who have lost parts of their body/had to deal with living with a physical scars and new body shapes. You are my inspiration to really do this in 2017! I would love to talk to you more in 2017. Karen xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, from MY point of view, breasts are NOT the make all and be all of a woman. I understand the need of the calendar and on the other hand am disappointed that people are so ignorant that it takes a calendar to show that a woman can be as beautiful without breasts as with breasts. Bearing in mind the only thing that has changed (Visibly ) with the woman is the shape of the body.
Congratulations on your shoot wish you and every other woman (and men) who have to go through this the best in life!
LikeLike
Gen, Just wanted to wish you well 🙂 I have only found your blog in the last month but have really valued the words and ideas you put out there. I am also a mum, working P/T, and dealing with the legacy of double mastectomy without recon, chemo, radio and tamoxifen when I was 46. I am now 2.5 years into this bizarre event that I hadn’t signed up for.
I also wanted to say that I share your frustration and struggle to feel like we actually have a firm grip on the world. Getting back to ‘normal’ is elusive. I guess my message to you is to sit back and ponder what personal goals you had “before”….or are there things that you have you wanted to achieve for yourself? You have been incredibly driven to reach out to us “fellow travellers” through your blog, and now I hope you can build up your own ‘self’ very soon, that is separate from the whole breast cancer thing. For me, pursuing the completion of my first novel, started 10 years ago, has recently given me a huge boost of energy and focus which I can now give back to my family as a wife and mother. I haven’t felt this good for two and a half years.
All the best and warmest wished
Elizabeth xx
LikeLike
I am so happy I found your blog. I had a double mastectomy 4 years ago after my second go-around with breast cancer. Reconstruction was not an option for me as the radiation from the first time changed the skin where it would not stretch to accommodate the insert or able to heal properly. I am 70 years old now and have been wearing prostheses but really want to go flat but hate the way clothes look on me. Your clothes and style are perfect.! Thank you for your blog and advice on how to dress to look fabulous. Many blessings to you and your beautiful family.
LikeLike
Thanks Jen. I am trying to work up the courage to shop today and this has really helped! Thanks so much x
LikeLike