It’s been 11 years since my first mastectomy, and it’s still hard to wrap my head around how much time has gone by. In some ways, I’ve grown comfortable in my body—it feels like an extension of who I am now. Yet, in other moments, it feels as fresh as if it happened just yesterday.
It’s funny how certain reminders of those significant, sometimes traumatic, experiences come back—whether it’s a familiar smell, a song, or even the sound of a bird singing. For me, the first reminder is when spring is in the air. Gratitude is something that has never left me. In fact, the more time that passes, the deeper it grows.
When it comes to my body, though, I must admit—I thought shopping would have been easier by now. But with time comes age, and it’s not as simple as it used to be. The ease of online shopping has definitely helped in many ways. I love the convenience of trying things on in the comfort of my home, away from the judgement of sales assistants. Yet the gamble of whether something will fit or suit me has only gotten harder and choosing the right thing without trying can be anxiety-inducing.
On the other hand, trying things on in-store can also overwhelm me. I know I’m not alone in this. No one—whether they have boobs or not—wants to feel vulnerable in a changing room, especially when they’re not feeling great about their body. It’s a space where we can be so hard on ourselves, comparing, critiquing, and avoiding it altogether because it feels too confronting. I’m definitely one of those people.
But last week, something happened that made me see things differently. I was out with two of my close friends and our kids during the school holidays. We were in Byron Bay for the day, and after getting the kids ice cream, we ended up near one of my favourite stores. I had no intention of trying anything on, especially with my friends—both younger, beautiful, and tiny—there with me. I mean, how could I? But in a rare moment of confidence, I found myself saying, “Hey, I’ve got lunch on tomorrow. Can we pop in? I’m looking for something to wear.”
My friends didn’t even bat an eye. Instead of worrying about my insecurities, they dove into the racks, pulling out styles they thought would suit me. They encouraged me to try things on without a second thought. And for the first time in a long time, I felt safe. I even told the shop assistant that I was breastless, and she helped me find what I needed—no hesitation, no awkwardness.
The best part? One of my friends had her 11-year-old daughter with us. She got right into it, helping me pick outfits and proudly sharing her favourite choices. She wasn’t shielded from the reality of my breast cancer and mastectomy, and she didn’t hesitate to be part of the process. To her, I was just “normal Gen,” and I loved that.
In the end, I didn’t buy anything that day, but I walked away with something more valuable: honest feedback and love from two special friends who just wanted me to feel good. There was no judgment, no pity—just support. I may not have found the perfect outfit, but I did discover something even more valuable—a reminder that there are clothes out there for me and friends ready to help me find them. All it takes is the courage to ask.
When I shop these days, I’m naturally drawn to patterns and details around the chest area to shift attention away from the fact that I am breastless. Besides patterns, I’ve found that ruffles, bows, and fabrics with folds or layers work beautifully for a flat chest. I also love pieces with features like buttons and collars. Here are some of my recent favourites.
Aje Abbey Twist Dress at my mum’s 80th
Mister Zimi Agnes Dress & Bo Dress
Mister Zimi Bo Jumpsuit (sorry for bad pics hahaha)
Une Piece Classic Square Neck Swimmers & Kivari Illeana Playsuit
Aje Darcie Denim Midi Dress & Black Utility Dress and Witchery Black Linen double breasted dress
Mister Zimi Nina Dress in Barcelona and my trusted Marcs Lani Felt Jacket (goes with everything)
Portmans top (tie is perfect), Stella dress (pattern so distracting) and Mister Zimi Cleo Dress
My next purchase
I have so much admiration for women who wear confidence like a second skin, regardless of their size. I’m not always one of them. But I know that if I get the outfit right, I can feel that way too. And even though I may never feel completely comfortable in a changing room, I’m okay with that. What truly matters is my commitment to loving and appreciating my body just as it is. Embracing my body is a celebration of its strength and individuality, reminding me that every shape and feature tells the story of my unique journey.
Apart from my life and my beautiful family, what I’m most grateful for this year is the power of true friendship and the ways it can lift you up when you need it most.
Have a wonderful week.
I am breastless and beautiful.
Love,
Gen x
Leave Me Breastless 