Truth be told, I regularly need a break from cancer, which is probably why you haven’t heard from me in a while. I needed to just live my life a bit without thinking of cancer. Quite accidentally, what happens after you’ve had any type of cancer is that you get branded. Not in a bad way, but you become the cancer ‘go to’ person. For the most part, I enjoy that role. I love supporting people who are going through what I have been through, as I know how important you can be in helping someone keep a positive frame of mind while tackling a horrible disease. This is something that doesn’t always come easy for people. I too know I called on people who’d had cancer when I was diagnosed and totally picked their brains. People need to know the ins and outs and they need that ‘go to’ person. I needed those people and I will always be there to support others. I don’t want for a second for people to think they can’t come to me for advice, but I do also want to start living normally again. I guess all I mean is that while breast cancer is a big part of my life story, I don’t want every conversation I have with people to be about cancer.
The concern is really for my children and my family more than for myself. I don’t want them to hear me talking about cancer all the time. And when you live with someone, what you do, they do inadvertently whether they want to or not. I guess this feeling was sparked by a conversation my younger son had with me after I’d caught up with someone and had discussed ‘breast cancer’ a bit. He asked me quite matter-of-factly if my cancer was coming back and then when I said no proceeded to ask me if I could grow my boobies back to which I also answered no. It started to dawn on me that a conversation that was relatively normal and unemotional for me was actually evoking quite huuuuge emotions in the innocent growing, young mind of my 8 year old. I didn’t want him to feel this way or even have these thoughts. I have kicked cancers butt, I want to liiiive, not have it rare it’s ugly head for my family all the time! So without even planning it, I ended the school year and left behind with it, all conversations about cancer and anything associated with it. I embraced my then upcoming 40th birthday excitedly and focused on the love and joy those 40 years had brought. I celebrated everything in my life and was pleased to know that cancer was well and truly on the back burner for a while. It felt really nice to live normally again.
That’s not to say that raising awareness for breast cancer is not important to me anymore. It’s just that I have more perspective now. When I took a step away, I could see how things can become all-consuming when you’re immersed in them, whatever they are. Whilst you may be feeling really good about whatever it is you are throwing yourself into at the time, it is great to take a step back from time to time to ensure all the good you are doing isn’t taking too much of a toll on the closest people in your life who are supporting you through fulfilling your dreams. They too, need just as much attention and dedication.
So here’s a sample of the festival of Gen’s 40th, a time when I focused on all the wonderful things I have in my life and left cancer behind. Here is my beautiful Mister Zimi frock (which I chose but some very dear friends bought for me). Much to many of my friends’ astonishment, I did wear the same dress twice to both of my 40th celebrations (changed it up with different hairstyles though). This time it didn’t bother me because it was described by one of my friends as ‘the best dress she has ever seen me wear’ to which she concluded that there’s no point in me wearing anything else again because nothing will top it. I’m not sure I’d go that far but I think the best part about this Mister Zimi dress is that not once did I stop in my 40th celebrations and think, I hope I look okay and not deformed today without boobs. In fact, it didn’t even cross my mind. I just felt amazing and beautiful, just how all breastless women should feel about themselves everyday.
40 is one of the greatest ages I’ve known. I know I’ve said it before but I’m truly grateful. The clarity I have now about what’s important makes me so happy. So in some ways I can thank breast cancer for coming into my life (and leaving too!). I know I’m living a more fulfilling life now than I was before – moreso than many other people who haven’t had life slap them in the face yet. And I’m grateful it has happened to me young enough to have that clarity with me for a long life. It’s something that I feel excited about sharing with my children and all the wonderful people with whom I share my life. It truly is contagious, you can share these feeling with people just by feeling them and living them. Like negative people can be toxic, positive people can be an addictive force, because they make you feel good enough. And I am good enough, boobs or not. And so are you!
Mister Zimi is a gorgeous clothing brand with a number of boutiques in Australia and they also offer international shipping. They are offering 20% off their current range ending today and they have many wonderful options for breastless women. Here are a few of their current range items I would suggest (and I actually want to buy all of them). One of the greatest things about them is that they create well-made classic styles in a variety of different patterns; they cater for everyone’s tastes in fabrics. I hope you find something to suit you from their fabulous range.
Have a wonderful week.
I am breastless and beautiful,
Love, Gen x